If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?
April 24, 2006I am in love with my Samsung DVD-L75 portable dvd player.
Hell, it’s practically attained the stature of lover. I mean, I take it to bed with me every night. And (pathetically) it has proven to be better company there than most of the boyfriends I’ve had over the years. I fold before it ever does, what with that extended battery that lasts more than 5 hours at a time. These 7 inches are the most fun 7 inches I’ve ever had in my bed.
Ohhh, that’s so sad–I know, I know! [weeps for self]
It accompanies me on trips–protecting me from the bawling baby in the row behind and the increasingly soused project leader pounding back the four-dollar Buds beside me–and makes each extended wait in each crowded airport for each delayed flight more tolerable. It takes my mind off those stray, anonymous hairs in cheesy motel rooms.
It stimulates me, culturally and intellectually, but it can also lower itself to my level without complaint or even a sidelong glance. It is truly open-minded and non-judgmental.
It is so sleek and attractive, so powerful and efficient, so practical and dependable. It is possibly the smartest and most satisfying purchase I’ve ever made. I love it, I love it!
Damn. This is more than a little depressing. Will I ever find a man that can match it?
Sure the package says it is 7 inches but I bet it is more like 5 1/2.
Comment by ZombieKillah — April 25, 2006 @ 4:24 pm
You have to measure diagonally.
And I’ll stop there.
Comment by JohnH — April 26, 2006 @ 11:23 am