Our Lady of Perpetual Hell

I call this one “Canadian Gothic”.

Dammit, January 18th just can’t come soon enough!!

Doesn’t matter where you grow up, every kid knows the monsters don’t come out ’til you turn off the lights…

(H/T to H-E for this one.)

In advance of the release of the newest film adaptation of Richard Matheson’s dark and brilliant novella, I Am Legend

you can watch online for free the first attempt to bring this story to the screen…

This one is a 1964 Italian-U.S. co-production starring Vincent Price. Its strength is that it sticks closely to Matheson’s story (all the way to its bitter, transgressive end) and tells it in an understated way–perhaps only because it was limited to this by its budget, but this is why I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing for a filmmaker to be forced to work with comparatively limited financial resources. Co-directors Ubaldo Ragona and Sidney Salkow make sparse use of voiceover narration by Price, flashbacks via 8mm film within the film, and more traditional flashbacks to tell the story of how Robert Morgan came to be The Last Man On Earth. If you can forgive some cardboard performances and don’t need eye-popping visual effects to accept the story being told onscreen, I think you will find that this film is a little gem.

Frankly, I have very low expectations of the version that’s coming out on Friday. Just one look at the poster makes me uneasy…

…because, from that, it looks like it’s everything the original version was not. Big budget, action-packed, more brawn than brain, special fx-laden (-reliant?), high-profile, Hollywoodized. (That’s not to say there aren’t any explosions in the original… but they’re pretty pathetic cap-gun level explosions. More funny than frightening, really.) Still, I am weak. I will prolly go see it. With those aforementioned low expectations.

And, for some reason, it appears that the plague victims of the tale have been changed from vampires to zombies. (I suppose I should point out, though, that the vampires of the 1964 film really did behave more like shambling Romero zombies than vampires. Just sayin’.) I’ll bet the screenwriters Mark Protosevich and Akiva Goldsman have no good reason for this change–I suspect it’s just because those post-Romero fast zombies are trendy nowadays. And lookit how the vampire-infested 30 Days of Night recently tanked. (Steve Niles, co-author of the graphic novel upon which that film was based, also co-authored a graphic novelization of Matheson’s book–both of which I recommend, natch! Along with his graphic novel adaptation of Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, now that I think about it!). The director of the latest film version is Francis Lawrence, who gave us the disappointing (to me) adaptation of Hellblazer (admittedly, my disappointment was centered around the horribly miscast Keanu Reeves as John Constantine).

Then again, after having had the poster give me pause, I hafta admit the poster for the 1964 film leaves a little to be desired, too…

…and I dunno WTF the Addams Family house is doing on there. ‘Cept Sidney Salkow directed a few episodes of that tv show!

It’s been years since I last saw The Omega Man–that other film adaptation of the story by Matheson–so I added it to my ZipList to re-watch. I am not a big fan of Charlton Heston’s ham-stuffed-cheeseball performances but I do want to re-watch this version of the story despite it.

UPDATE: I found The Omega Man available for free online. It’s split into 11 sections here. You’re welcome.

And, believe it or not, yet another version of the story was released straight-to-dvd last month. Called I Am Omega, the trailer is online…

*cough*

The weekend got off on a very bad foot when I went up to have a morning coffee and chat with the ‘rents on Saturday and Dad showed me the morning newspaper. Right on the front page of the Sarnia Observer, above the fold, was the horrifying headline, “Chip truck banned”.

In Sarnia, there is only one chip truck that would garner this kind of attention in the local media. And that chip truck is Albert’s Rolling Lunch.

Albert’s has been in business longer than I’ve been on the planet. The truck is a local summertime tradition, parked underneath the Bluewater Bridges, doling out what we locals call the best chips in the world in Point Edward beside where Lake Huron narrows into the St. Clair River. Ever since I was a kid, Albert’s has been a draw for thousands upon thousands of locals (and not-so-locals: this past summer, I stood in line in front of a bunch of leather-clad folks who’d ridden their motorcycles from Kitchener specifically to get chips at Albert’s on the recommendation of a friend). The truck has had a few different locations underneath the bridges as the configuration of the area has changed over the years. Where once there was only one chip truck, one bridge, a gravel parking lot, and enormous boulders where we sat and ate our chips at river’s edge, now there are three chip trucks, two bridges, two paved parking lots, a walking/running/cycling path, gardens, and the random boulders have been replaced by three-tiered stone “bleachers” that run along the river’s edge.

No matter where it was parked–under one bridge or two, in one parking lot or the other–Albert’s Rolling Lunch was a fixture. “Under the bridge” has always been the local lovers’ lane, so Albert’s has always fed the couples who parked at river’s edge to watch the submarine races. The truck also always fed the thousands of folks who’d line the river’s edge to watch the boats sail up the river into the lake for the start of the annual Mackinac Race. It was such a treat as a kidlet to get up early and go down and sit on the rocks under the bridge and get your parents to buy you a cuppa chips for breakfast that day! When I lived in Toronto or in Salt Lake City, one of the things I missed and often longed for were those chips… Whenever I was on a trip home during Albert’s short season, I would always try to make time to go down with friends or family to get a plate. When I was little, the smallest serving came in a paper cone (called a “cup o’ chips”) and overflowed. You ate ‘em one at a time with a toothpick to make ‘em last longer. By the time you got near the end of them, the vinegar had soaked through the paper cone and begun to drip. The next size up was a sturdy cardboard plate–probably about 4″ X 6″, and also overflowing. (The cone has lately been replaced by a slightly smaller version of the plate. Overflowing, natch. That’s what Suzanne is holding in the photo.) If you had eyes bigger than your stomach (as my mom would say), you could get a box. But you would probably regret it later, because it was about 4″ or 5″ square and at least that tall. If you ate all those chips, I suspect it would feel like you’d just eaten a bowling ball. A box was good for sharing on dates, though.

Over the years, more chip trucks sprung up around town, all hugging any location they could get close to the shoreline, but Albert’s withstood the onslaught of pretenders to the crown. Albert’s always had the longest lineup. Because people knew which truck had the best chips. We were raised on ‘em, after all. Even when ownership changed hands over the years (Albert is long gone), the recipe for the chips’ preparation must’ve been handed down, ‘cause those suckas taste the same today as they did when I was eight years old, sitting on the rocks under the (single!) bridge, watching the lakers sail by… Golden with a slight crisp bite on the outside and soft and hot on the inside. And I have always ordered them the same way: “Salt and lots of vinegar, please!” The vinegar is misted onto the chips with a hose and spray nozzle contraption that hangs just inside the window of the truck (I think you can see part of the hose, actually, right behind Suzanne’s head in the photo). I never taint them with ketchup. Lawdy, no.

Timing can be a tricky thing and, frankly, it usually seems like mine is lousy when I show up to get chips. Meaning I place my order and pay for it but then I gotta wait ten minutes or so because it always seems like they just handed out the last of the previous batch and I hafta wait while they fry a new one. But waiting isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Because, while I stand there, waiting, the sense of anticipation grows. And, now, I dunno ’bout you, but, to me, the sense of anticipation is exquisite. I never really mind the wait because I know all it means is that I’m gonna get some really fresh, really hot chips. Hell, it’s easily worth the wait! And, besides, I’m never the only one waiting, and everybody in line chats while we wait. It’s a friendly, communal place to be. Getting chips at Albert’s is one of my all-time favourite things. And it’s one of those things that locals customarily make sure we do when we have guests from out of town. It combines a sense of friendly community with the summer beauty of our location on the Great Lakes and becomes like a defining moment of any visit to this area–that moment when the figurative lightbulb goes on over the visitor’s head and they think, “Yeah, I can see why you like it here.”

So the thought of Albert’s not being in its familiar spot under the bridges next summer is, frankly, unfathomable to me. As Cathy Dobson points out in her Sarnia Observer article, there are two petitions to help save Albert’s–one of them you can sign online here. Either the Bluewater Bridge Authority has to be persuaded to change its decision or somebody in the village of Point Edward needs to step up and offer an alternative location. When I think of the thousands of people that the truck lures to Point Edward over the summer, I can’t imagine why the village wouldn’t be upset about this.

Wherever Albert’s Rolling Lunch sets up, that’s where I’ll go for chips. And I know I’m not alone in this.

This list musta been compiled by Yuppies. Meh. Some of those posters are pretty ordinary (I mean, I understand the retro appeal of the Beatles, Cash, and Presley posters but they’re not really very special otherwise) and I don’t like that fucking psychedelic hippie shit at all, and didn’t anybody from Billboard save any posters from LA punk rock shows in the late 70s? [rolls eyes]

And this should be on the list, sez me:

Yeah–alright, fine–I’m biased. But so are all the lists that are elbowing each other for room on the interweb this time of year.

I’m not much of one for making lists, but I do like reading them.

So, we’re gonna post some lists here. And it ain’t the royal “We” I’m using here, either. I’m gonna have some help (because, as I said, I prefer reading lists over writing lists).

For the past little while I have been sharing music online with a handful of music-loving friends of mine. Aaron, Craig, Chris, and I have what I refer to as our “clubhouse” at Box, where we smoke stolen cigarettes and eat candy and read comic books and post songs for each other.

I’ve found that it’s a good way to get introduced to new music that the others have found and it’s also good for edjamacational purposes. F’r’instance, Aaron is a longtime fan of electronic music while I am a newbie to the genre and our clubhouse is a place where he has been able to introduce me to the “classics” as well as allow me to sample various flavours to see what I like and what I don’t like. I have gone on to buy lots of music based on my friends’ recommendations. Because, y’know, my friends have excellent taste. (Well, except for Craig.)(I keeed! I keeed!!)

When the “Top [whatever] of 2007” lists started showing up all over the place, I thought I might as well add to the glut. (And yes, Mom. If all my friends jumped offa the Bluewater Bridge, I would, too.) What we’re gonna do here is this: Aaron, Craig, Chris, and I are gonna post our “10 Songs We Loved This Year” lists—along with mixes so you can lissen to ‘em. Now, keep in mind that these aren’t “best of” lists; they’re “favourites” lists. We aren’t pronouncing judgement, here. And the songs that turned out to be our favourites in 2007 may not necessarily have even been released in 2007, but this past year was the first time we stumbled acrosst ‘em. I’m shooting for Dec. 22 as the publishing date for this and the boys are busily compiling their lists now. I—being the hopeless procrastinator I am—will prolly wait ‘til the evening of the 21st to come up with mine.

Okay, I realize I’m kinda all over the place tonight… Where was I? Oh yeah, the concert posters.

Back in my Records On Wheels days, my friend & coworker Christine useta hand-paint t-shirts for friends and she made one for me that featured that green and black Whisky A Go-Go ad on the front (and thanks to Tony for the image!) and X’s members’ portraits from the live album on the back…

It was a wearable work of art, I tellya! How I loved it!! I wore that thing so much the cotton tee is practically transparent now. The paintings still look great, though, so I wish I could figure out how to cut them off that raggedy-ass tee and sew them onto a new shirt or a jacket or someat–I don’t suppose anybody reading this has any advice about that sorta thing…?

Incidentally, speaking of the LA music scene, KROQ’s “Almost Acoustic Christmas” webcast is this coming weekend. It features Silversun Pickups and Spoon on Sunday night. (H/T to PopCandy.)

Oh. And. This month, Craig is posting Christmas songs daily over at his Short Bus Musings. Getcher daily dose of sugarplums over there. ‘Cause if I did that ‘round here, it’ll be more along the lines of…