Our Lady of Perpetual Hell

Last week, on a local radio station, my mother heard a story about the relocation of Albert’s Rolling Lunch, and one of the things mentioned was that it wasn’t going to be called Albert’s anymore… It was gonna be called Suzy’s Icecreamporium and Caf.

Whut? I thought, That’s fucking insane! Albert’s branding is 50 years old. It’s the name people looked for when they drove under the bridge and were faced with more than one chip truck. I drove by the new location on the weekend, and there was a huge sign in the window that proclaimed “new home of Albert’s Rolling Lunch”. So I figgered mebbe the earlier radio report had been wrong.

Now, according to Cathy Dobson’s article in today’s Sarnia Observer, the new location of Albert’s Rolling Lunch is, indeed, going to be re-branded like Mom heard on the radio.

But, again, according to Dobson’s article, they’re going to have a sign that identifies it as the place to come for Albert’s chips and part of the $100,000 of renovations the owners are making to the new location includes knocking a hole in the wall so that folks can still line up for fries like they useta at the truck. Now, that’s a fun idea! And it’s important, ‘cause–let’s face it–the camaradarie of customers milling about the truck and chatting with each other, waiting for their chips, was part of the appeal of going to Albert’s. The fryers from the truck have been installed in the kitchen. That’s even more important. See, if the chips don’t taste the same as they always have, there’s no point to all this. ‘Cause that’s what we went to Albert’s for, all these years. Let’s hope they keep the vinegar sprayer at the hole in the wall. ‘Cause that’s important, too.

I was thinking that if they weren’t going to use the truck anymore, perhaps it could be used as decoration on the new location. If they’ve gutted it for the new kitchen, I think it could look purty funky if they hoisted the shell up onto the roof or incorporated it somehow around the building. And I’m also picturing a mural featuring the truck–painted on the riverside wall of the building. In fact, it would be cool if they painted it around the hole they’re gonna knock in the wall, y’know?

But sorry, Suzy. I will still be calling it Albert’s Rolling Lunch. And I fer sure need one of those Albert’s t-shirts the truck employees wear. Cha, the baby blue one!