Our Lady of Perpetual Hell

During the time I worked at Records On Wheels, we had a security system installed to try to prevent all the little skater kids from stealing stuff. We’d insert the security tabs inside the imported disks, tapes, and albums before we sealed them or just stick them on the outside of the domestics. If we didn’t deactivate them after purchase at the checkout stand, the customer would set off the alarms when s/he walked through the scanner at the door. Pretty straightforward. Pretty easy system to circumvent, too, of course. I mean how hard is it to peel off the wrapping and remove the sticker? Not exactly rocket science. I don’t think we were allowed to search through personal bags, but we were pretty scrupulous about having customers leave their bags at the counter when they came in to shop.

Anyhow, one day when I was at the cash register, a customer repeatedly set off the alarm. He’d paid for his stuff and it had been scanned, repeatedly. But still the alarm went off whenever he walked through. The store was busy and loud and I was getting frazzled and he kept giving me these doofus looks whenever he tried to leave and alarm went off. Like, “H’yuck, there goes the alarm again! Ain’t that crazy! Lawdamussy, what can be making it go off?”

I muttered, “Must be the plate in your head.”

…All that by way of introduction to this.

I especially like the note that advises customers, ‘If you don’t know the alphabet very well or you haven’t been fully trained on how to put records back where they belong, please leave and come back with someone who can accompany you through this confusing process.’