Our Lady of Perpetual Hell

If anybody reading this has some tools better than the high quality ones I bought in the dollar section of Target

and likes to smash shit to pieces, have I got a job for you!

I dunno what the hell it is (but git mah pitcher beside it!)(Laurie, you’re prolly the only one who will get that reference), but I found it in my back yard shed when I moved in.

At first, I thought it was a dog house. But it has no entrance. Then I thought mebbe it was a bird house. But, again, no holes. I flipped it over and found nuthin’. Except spiders, natch. And I beat them all to hell with a broom while fear-dancing around it. Lucky my back yard has a privacy fence around it, eh?

Best I can figger is that it was the decoration on the house’s or the garage’s roof at some point in the past. Although it’s not shaped to fit on a roof. Unless some previous roof was flat. Beats me.

In any case, I gotta get rid of it to free up space in the shed. See, I am inheriting some exercise equipment and am going to set up a gym in the garage, so I need to move some stuff I have in the garage now into the shed, instead. That means the gnome home–or whatever it is–hasta go.

My cheap-ass wrench won’t keep its grip tightened so I can’t loosen the nuts. If I hadda mallet, I’d just smash the shit out of it. So, y’know, if your toolkit is better equipped than mine (and whose isn’t?), feel free to drop by and dismantle this thing for me. There’s plenty of beer in the fridge.